Family Patterns -- A Genogram Insight

     Two years ago I completed a family genogram for a marriage and family class. Let me give you a 'quick' definition of a genogram:

     It is "a graphic representation of a family tree that displays detailed data on relationships among individuals. It goes beyond a traditional family tree by allowing the user to analyze hereditary patterns and psychological factors that punctuate relationships... The genogram maps out relationships and traits that may otherwise be missed on a pedigree chart" (www.genopro.com).

    In other words, it shows not only your biological relationships to family members, but also the social and psychological relationships.  Examples include patterns of abuse as well as patterns of prosocial behavior.


This picture is an example of a genogram from www.reentrypolicy.org

   This experience was a very insightful one for me.  I communicated mainly with my mom to gather information about both sides of my family (going back three generations).  When I completed the project, I found myself staring at two posters covered in names and symbols.  Seeing it as a whole suddenly gave me vast insight into my family.  There were so many patterns of behavior that I could see influencing our relationships and experiences in the home.
 
    Studies show children often copy behavior they are exposed to, even if it is not directed at them.  Also, they are likely to mirror the marital relationship of their parents in their own marriage (Kalmus, 1984).  This is the reason why patterns of abuse seem to follow families.  How a child views interactions with their parents is also correlated with their own marital adjustment and psychological maturity (Bartle-Haring, & Sabatelli, 1998).   These trends were made personal and obvious to me as I viewed my own genogram.  For better or for worse, children are influenced by their experiences in the home.  

www.lutheranfamily.org

Seeing these patterns impacted my view of parenthood.  What we do in the home does not stay in the home.  But here is the cool thing: the more we know about behavior trends the more power we have to change them!  I challenge you to take a look at your own family patterns.  It is insightful.  It helps you to see where some of your own behavior tendencies come from.  And it may help you make changes for the better.

"We know that [those] who have deep appreciation for the past will be concerned about shaping a righteous future." - Spencer W. Kimball (12th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)

Bartle-Haring, S., & Sabatelli, R. (1998). An intergenerational examination of patterns of individual and family adjustment. Journal of Marriage and Family, 60(4). 903-911. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/353633

Kalmus, D. (1984). The intergenerational transmission of marital aggression. Journal of Marriage and Family, 46(1). 11-10. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/351858